Sometimes, I have bad days. Just like the rest of the world. I find it harder to be obedient on those bad days. Today was a bad day. I'm just putting it out there. I love my family so much and I have some of the best friends a girl could ask for. But some days, being alone/single really sucks. I know that God is using this time to mold me and change me and prepare me for what's next in my life. I know that this is part of His plan. And that's great. BUT sometimes, I just want someone to watch a movie with that isn't a family member or a girlfriend. Does that make me selfish? Probably.
I went to Zoolight Safari with my family and nieces tonight. I had so much fun with those sweet girls. I love seeing their faces light up. BUT, as soon as we left, and I was alone in my car, I realized it was only 8pm. I was alone and had nothing to do. On.A.Friday. What?!? So, my first thought? "I'll go have a drink." Ummm what? "No. You are not going to have a drink by yourself, Jennifer." HA! (I actually had this conversation with myself.) So I invited a friend. She was busy. I took that as a sign that I just didn't need to be having a drink at all. I went to Starbucks and got my usual and since my night was so blah, I decided to pay for the coffee for the person/people behind me. At least one of us had a good evening. I just hope they pay it forward =) Luckily for me, most retailers have kicked their holiday hours into high gear so I did a lot of shopping. Shopping always makes me feel better. At least it did in the moment.
I came home to a quiet, empty house. I can't stop thinking about why it's so hard to be obedient. Kinda like, why is the right thing always the hardest thing to do. I want more than anything to follow Gods plan for my life. So why is it so hard to be okay with His plan? Why do I question Him? So this is me, struggling to follow His plan. Struggling to be obedient even though I know I should be. Struggling to give up complete control apparently. I know it was just a bad day. I know I will be fine tomorrow.
I kinda rambled. Anyway. Sometimes, you just gotta put it out there however you can.
I hope y'all all have a fantastic weekend!