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Thursday, January 3, 2013

Dating Part 2: How to wait...

This is Part 2 of a 3 part series. If you are new to my little blog, you can read Part 1 HERE.

Being lonely sucks. I get it. Waiting sucks. I get it. Even dating sucks sometimes. I promise, I really get it. Don't think of it like that... Think of it as preparation. This is the time you need to prepare yourself to be a best friend, a good partner and a great wife. So what can you do to prepare yourself for "The One"? I'm glad you asked...

  • First of all, you are not alone. You are never alone. "Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41:10
  • Seek the Lord in all you do and protect your heart. Especially through this process.Our eyes are the gateway to our hearts and our tongue speaks life into things, good or bad that have an eternal impact on who we are today and who God wants us to be tomorrow. Be mindful during this time to guard your heart no matter how weak or lonely you get. 

  • Harness your tongue. What you say is a direct reflection of your heart. "Her mouth speaks from that which fills her heart." Luke 6:45.
  • Surround yourself with people who lift you up. Seek Godly leadership from those who have been in your shoes.
  • Take time for yourself. Go shopping, hang out with your girlfriends, have a glass of wine. Do the things you love to do. Enjoy yourself, love yourself.
  • Pray for your future. Pray for your future career, boyfriend/husband, and children. Pray continuously.
  • Be a great friend, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, cousin, granddaughter, employee. Whatever you are, be the best that you can be at it.
  • Be a good communicator. Communicate daily with those around you. Learn to communicate in a healthy way. Learn to have healthy discussions and disagreements. Learn when words are needed and when you should communicate without them.
  • Be a woman of integrity. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Always do what you say you're going to do. ALWAYS.
  • Be honest with yourself and those around you. Stand up for what you believe in and be yourself no matter what. Someone will love you for you.
  • Be forgiving. Forgiveness is the key to freedom. If you can learn to forgive easily, you can do anything. All good relationships are made up of two good forgivers. "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15.
  • Learn to compromise. It's not all about you. I know, I was shocked to learn that, too. But it's not. Any good relationship is made up of two people who know how to compromise. Even when they don't want to.
  • Be passionate. About something. Anything. I don't care what it is. Your job, your hobbies, your workouts, your church. Something. Find something you love and give it your all.
  • Respect yourself. Respect yourself enough to walk away when necessary. Respect yourself enough to say no when you need to. No one else is going to if you don't. Especially not a man.
  • Be confident. We all have our weaknesses. Be confident in the woman God has created you to be. You are wonderfully made.
  • Remember that you are enough.God created you just as you are. Good enough, strong enough, pretty enough, brave enough, wise enough, smart enough. YOU are enough. Do not compare yourself to anyone else. Spend every day being the best you that you can be. You will be. No one can take that away from you.

  • You can read Part 3 HERE.
    Have a great Thursday, y'all!!


    Unknown said...

    Wow this is awesome Jen. Though I'm not single but these words resonate so much with me as I am a Christian and have read a lot of Christian relationship books before. This was an inspiring read, Jen!

    Unknown said...

    I am newly single as well. I needed Part 1 and Part 2 more than you will ever know. My heart was completely broken in 2012 by the person I literally thought and prayed that I would spend the rest of my life with. It's been a hard few months, but I've realized the more I put into God's hands, my life and my hurt, the easier it becomes. I can't do it without Him and I've finally realized that. I still struggle on a daily basis to try and live a Godly life. It's so hard living a life that He would be proud of in a college town. This really hit home with me and helped my heart a little bit. Thanks for this Jen! I will keep you in my prayers! :)

    Anonymous said...

    Aw Jen this is wonderful! I tried to force it and rush through dating and it took me coming to all of these conclusions before I could love myself the right way so that eventually someone else could love me the right way too. Awesome post!

    Holly said...

    Once again, such a beautiful post!! I need to hear these, and you have really spent such a great amount of time thinking and praying over what to write here--I can really tell that.

    I'm still single, and I'm OK with it now, but when I was struggling with it I forced myself to get involved in more things and do more that would make ME happy. Like traveling, yoga, running, shopping (lol), church, and getting together with friends. I hardly ever said "no" to hanging out with people and the more busy I was, the less I focused on trying to find someone to fill that void. Of course things get lonely and I get sad, but for the most part I am happy and I know that I don't need someone to make me happy, it would only add to my happiness :)

    Emma said...

    i just found your blog, and i am obsessed! thank you so much for sharing truth in this post and your "part 1" post... i can hardly wait for "part 3"! i also come from a college where the normal thing is to get married right away (UGA), so i understand the pressue!


    Anonymous said...

    i am obsessed with this post! i wish i could have every single one of my friends read this because i know that they would love how true it rings to all of their lives.

    Amanda said...

    I just found your blog and this is totally ministering to my heart!! I go back and forth between being content in my singlness and being pissed about it haha. This is a goof reminder to stop dwelling on it and start seeking the Lord and allowing him to refine my character. I would rather be a woman of the Lord and single than married/dating without a second thought towards my sanctification!

    Jen said...

    Thank you so much! I am so glad you enjoyed it!

    Jen said...

    Oh, Brooke! You are so precious! I am glad you read them. God is so good and His plan for us is better than anything we can imagine!!

    Jen said...

    I read the story about how you and the Boyfriend met! So precious! You guys really were just meant to be together =)

    Jen said...

    I'm so glad I get to be a part of the blogger world with you! I am learning what makes me happy. I finally learned that I didn't need a man to happy! I'll just wait for the man that God brings to me!!

    Jen said...

    You should send it to your friends! I think all women/girls should read it!

    Jen said...

    I struggle a lot, too. I find myself having a "why not me God" mentality. It's getting easier! Trusting and praying! So glad you are here!

    Jen said...

    You are so welcome! I have never put so much of my heart into something! I am glad you loved it!!