Thursday, January 24, 2013

Wet Cement.

A while back I was having a conversation with a good friend. I was really frustrated and annoyed. Just having one of those days where I felt like everything was falling apart. I am such a free spirit but I really wish I had more of a plan. Anyway, we were talking about life in general and how much my life has changed in the last 5 months, and what's to come. I was complaining that my life just wasn't what I thought it would be by 25. I thought I would have a career and a family of my own, and I really don't have either. I got out of a long relationship, moved, and I started a new class. I really feel like I am starting all over. And most days I don't have the motivation to keep going. Not that I don't want more, I just wish I already had it. Some times, I'm just a train wreck. You know, I'm learning life all over again, what's good for me and what's not... who I need to eliminate and who is worth keeping around, who I can and can't trust. I think, sometimes, we begin to define ourselves by who we are around the most. Be it a man or our friends or our parents. Whoever. I did. I defined myself by who I was dating. When it ended, I had no idea who I was. Not.A.Clue. I didn't know what I liked, or what made me happy. I told my friend that I just felt weak. I just don't know another way to describe it. And his response to me was so powerful and I have not been able to stop thinking about it. This was his response...

"You have got to realize that it is your choice to be strong or to be weak. It's your choice, and if you choose to be weak, then it's on you and no one else. You are starting over and that's okay. Right now, as a woman, you are defining who Jennifer will be for the next 5, 10, 15+ years. Your foundation as a woman isn't broken but it's brand new, like wet cement...It's been poured and it is in the process of curing and strengthening. It is still weak and has the potential for massive failure if it's not protected from random pedestrians. Random pedestrians who just want to write their names and put their hand prints in the wet cement to leave a permanent mark on it's surface."




My previous foundation had so many names and hand prints on it that I couldn't even see my own. Those names, hand prints and foot prints were defining who I was. At the beginning of this year, I made commitments. I committed to my Savior and to myself. I committed to be healthier, happier, stronger, wiser, more brave, and smarter. With all of those things came a new foundation. But, it is still new. It's not completely cured. The only name written in this foundation will be my own. The only imprints made on this foundation will be mine, the things that define me, the things that make me happy. Who I am is all that will be written. I will no longer be defined by this world and other people and what they think I should or shouldn't be. I am learning to be who the Lord created me to be. Just as real cement in a foundation has to cure and harden over time, my own foundation must become solid and strong.  I will make sure that my belief in Christ and the word of God is what I stand on each day and I will force myself to go deeper.

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”
Matthew 7:24-27

It's a great feeling to wake up and make the choice to no longer be weak. It's an even better feeling to have a foundation that is my own, that I am building. 

Jamison, Thank you so much for your inspiration and your wisdom. Love you forever, friend!



Happy Thursday, y'all!


Jen



9 comments:

Cindy C said...

I think life is just one big lesson that some of us learn as we go and some do not...You're definitely on the right track. Love the wet cement analogy.

Sarah J said...

Oh I completely agree, it is a choice we make each day! Absolutely love this post!

SEL said...

Sounds like you and your friend are on to something. What powerful words!!

Emma said...

what an amazing, heartfelt post! thank you for sharing with us :)

-Emma
chasingtexas.blogspot.com

Kaitlyn said...

Fantastic post!! This is going to be YOUR year! I can feel it! You're going to become such a stronger person! And might I add-- what a wonderful friend you have!

Nadine Mathews said...

Very strong post. I never really thought about starting over like wet cement. Thanks for sharing!

Ernestine Edna said...

Beautiful.

Rachael said...

Powerful Words :)

Rachael
http://wayycher.blogspot.com

Clara Schoen said...

Hi Jen!
I nominated you for the Liebster Award on my blog! Check it out here - http://www.walking-inthe-light.blogspot.com/2013/01/liebster-award-nomination-2.html

Happy Saturday!
Clara