Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Dating Part 3: All About The Men.

This is the last part of my dating posts. (I'm sorry it took me so long.) You can find Part 1 HERE and Part 2 HERE.  Part 3 is all about the men in our lives.

I think most women forget about what men need from us. This is a HUGE deal. As women, we are notorious for getting so caught up in what we want and how we want it that we forget that men have needs too. As little girls we are taught that we are all Princesses and that the world revolves around us and that's just not the case. A relationship IS NOT all about what someone else can do for you. It's more about what you can do for someone else.  If you're single, it is NEVER too soon to start praying for your future boyfriend/husband. What are the most important things that your future/current boyfriend/husband will need from you?

  • Prayer. The most important thing that you can do for the current and future men in your lives is to pray for them. Pray FOR them, not ABOUT them. Pray for his relationship with God- 2 Peter 3:18. Pray that he will be a spiritual leader for your family- 1 Corinthians 11:3.  Pray for his mind -Romans 12:2. Pray for his mouth- Ephesians 4:22. Pray for his heart- Mark 12:30-31. Pray for his feet- 2 Timothy 2:22, Hebrews 12:1 Pray for wisdom- Psalm 37:30, James 1:5.
  • Respect. In my opinion, this is number one thing every man needs. (Aside from prayer.) Men need to know that you respect them and that you value them. You do not have to agree with him all the time. But you have to respect him. He needs to know that you respect his opinions, his choices even when you don't agree with them and his mother. You don't have to like her, but you have to respect her...She did raise the man of your dreams and that's worth respecting.
  • Praise. It is essential to a mans every day life that you praise him. They need to know that no matter what happens, you will always be their biggest fan. So many crazy things go on in day to day life. He has to know that he gets to come home to someone that it's proud of him for working hard, and being the man that he is.
  • Trust. You have to trust him. I know, so many things in your past make this so hard for you. Me too. But if you constantly treat him like he is up to no good, eventually, he will be. No man wants to fight a daily battle with an insecure women. Trust him. Take his word as his word. 
  • Best Friend/Safe Place. He needs to know that he can always count on you. Count on you to listen, count on you to give him space when he needs it, count on you to be there without words sometimes.  Men are very different from women. Sometimes, they just need time to regroup. He needs to know that he can come home and be in a safe place. This means, don't nag and fuss at him. Let him come in and unwind. He will talk when he is ready.  Just be there when he needs you. 
  • Reasonable Expectations. You can't expect anymore out of him than you yourself are willing to do. That's just not fair. You want him to wash your car? Really? Do you even wash your car? Didn't think so. (I learned this one the hard way) Don't expect him to hang the moon and bring you flowers daily. It just ain't gonna happen, sister.
  • Judgement Free Zone. Do not judge him or constantly condemn him for mistakes he has made. Talk about it. Forgive him. Forget it. Move on. We are all human. God forgives you everyday for your mistakes and He calls us to do the same for others. Especially our spouses. He deserves forgiveness from you just as you deserve it from him.

That's the end of this little series. Finally. A year later. Procrastinate much? Ha.
If you have any questions, please feel free to email me! 
Again, this is all my opinion and what I have seen work for others in my life.

Happy Wednesday, Y'all!

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1 comment:

katiebluues said...

THIS! YES! You hit the nail on the head. <3