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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Letting God

 Today I'm thankful for...
34. My quiet rides to work in the morning.
35. Worship music.
36. Finding encouragement in a place I least expected to.

 It only takes a moment to decide to break free from the past... from that which we have always known... from failure.. from the familiar... And yet many prefer comfort over commitment to change, and fuse themselves to the deception of believing that they are the exception to the need for transformation..... Out of insecurity we begin to compare ourselves to the people around us, often seeking out those 'less together' than we are. It makes us feel good knowing we can justify our own refusal for change by diverting attention elsewhere, and continuing to play a role that people can 'look up to'... And yet.... The more I let my own eyes be opened, it is somehow clear that there is great strength in brokenness and great power in the humility of being able to admit how desperately I need a Savior. Deciding change is one thing, but allowing yourself to be changed is quite another.

I have spent so much time trying to change myself. Trying to adjust this or that, quitting this, starting that. Change must come from the inside out. That is way beyond my control. So often I forget who is really in charge. My 23rd year of life has been an eye opening one. I've let go many times, but I have failed to let God.Today I'm surrendering all.  Today I'm letting go and Letting God.

I know I have written so much about change. Probably a lot of the same stuff. It's just where I am  and what I'm going through.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011


Today I'm thankful for...
31. Free lunches =)
32. Being able to witness the miracle of life all around me.
33. Endings. New beginnings. New challenges.

I am the light for the world! Follow Me, and you won't be walking in the dark. You will have the light that gives life. John 8:12
I haven't posted in a while. Haven't read posts either. I'll catch up this week. Summer semester of college ended last week. I've feel like I am being pulled in a thousand directions. I'm really struggling with which direction to go in. (Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways submit to him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6) I'm trying. I am really really trying. I'm praying for a sign. Sometimes I just don't feel like I hear God. I have no clue what he wants my next step to be. So I'm praying. I'm really really praying. Hoping and praying. Being faithful. I don't know what else I can do. Hard week. I'll be back to regular posting soon. Prayers appreciated.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

It ain't easy.

Today I'm thankful for...
28. My Dad and his wonderful advice.
29. Peace of mind.
30. My friends that always know just what to say to make me feel better.

Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.
2 Corinthians 5:17 

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."
 Leo Tolstoy

Change. It's never easy. We fight to hold on. We fight to let go. Making a change isn't easy. Possible. But not easy. Changing the way you live means changing the way you believe. I'm struggling with this today. Well... everyday, but today especially.